So a psychiatrist walks into a bar,
asks for scotch, two fingers deep, no ice.
The strangers with hunched backs
all grunt in admiration and approval around him.
One of them asks him what he does for a living.
He takes a sip without wincing
and doesn’t answer.

There’s a 17 year old patient of his who won’t
stop telling him about how bad she wants him to fuck her.
Another middle-aged woman
can’t take a shower because she
thinks her dead husband is trapped in the drain.
He finishes his drink and thinks
about all the different ways
a person can drown.

A psychiatrist walks into a bar
and gets drunk off his ass drinking hard liquor.
He can’t remember the last time he
felt this full and on fire.
The world is spinning like it’s
trying to run away, so he starts talking
to God in the parking lot.
God answers with a gust of wind
just gentle enough to knock him
to the ground, laughing like a child
who has just heard his first words.

He should probably get some help,
he thinks.
Caitlyn Siehl. A Psychiatrist Walks Into a Bar (via alonesomes)

This is how you lose her.

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets.

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget.

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her.

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

Junot Diaz, This is How You Lose Her (via kuttymolle)